Question from Kalita Irina Timofeevna

Belgorod, Belgorod region

After my husband’s death, my son and I lived in my mother-in-law’s apartment, where we were registered. The mother-in-law is the owner of the apartment. Over time, she moved us to her father-in-law’s apartment, but he doesn’t need us either. Most likely, soon we will have no place to live at all. What to do but not be left with a minor child on the street?

Answer

Family members of the home owner have the right to use the residential premises in the same way as the owner, unless there is another agreement (Article 31 of the Housing Code of the Russian Federation). Family members of the homeowner are the spouse, parents, and children who live with him in the same living space. In addition to the persons named above, other relatives of the owner, disabled dependents, as well as other persons (in some cases) may be considered family members if they were settled as members of the owner’s family.

Based on the clarifications of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation, the above-mentioned persons are recognized as members of the owner’s family in the following cases:

• when the legal fact of moving these persons into the housing owned by the owner has been established;
• when the content of the will of the owner of the residential premises becomes clear.

Simply put, you need to understand in whose capacity this person moved into the residential premises: as a family member or on other grounds, for example, as a tenant (clause 11 of the Resolution of the Plenum of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation No. 14 “On some issues that arose in judicial practice when applying Housing Code of the Russian Federation" dated July 2, 2009). From the appeal it becomes clear that you have moved into the owner’s housing as members of his family, since you are the wife and son of the deceased son of the owner of the apartment. That is, there were no other grounds for moving in.

From all of the above, we can conclude that you have the right to use housing on an equal basis with your husband’s mother. It is known that if family relations between the owner of the property and other family members are terminated, then they no longer have the right to use this living space, unless other agreements have been signed (Article 31 of the Housing Code of the Russian Federation).

It is difficult to say whether the situation that occurred in your family, namely the death of your husband, can become a basis for ending the family relationship between you and your mother-in-law. Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to this question in the law or in the clarifications of the RF Armed Forces.

We believe that in this case you should seek permission from your mother-in-law to allow you and her grandson to live in the apartment. If they do not meet you halfway and insist on eviction, file a statement of claim in court. In your application to the court, formulate your requirements for recognition of the right of you and your child to live in your mother-in-law’s apartment.

What arguments should be presented to the court:

• your right to use the apartment arose as a result of moving into the apartment as members of the owner’s family on the basis of Art. 31 Housing Code of the Russian Federation. Your right has not been terminated by a court decision;
• Together with your son, you are registered at this place of residence (mother-in-law’s address). Please note that the fact that a person is registered at the place of residence (based on the application of the owner of the property) does not confirm the fact that you are recognized as a member of the family of the owner of the apartment. But the fact that your mother-in-law personally registered you in the apartment speaks volumes. In your case, this is a pretty powerful argument. Such evidence of the right to use housing is subject to evaluation by the court, like other evidence presented to the court (clause 11 of the Resolution of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation);
• your child is the grandson of the owner of the apartment, that is, with the death of the mother-in-law’s son, the “grandmother-grandson” relationship did not stop. A grandson cannot be an “ex”. Thus, the right to use his grandmother’s apartment remains his. In Art. 14 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation states that the grandson and grandmother are close relatives;
• One of the important arguments is the norms of Art. 20 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, which states that the place of residence of children under the age of 14 is recognized as the place of residence of their legal representatives, that is, parents, adoptive parents or guardians. In Art. 54 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation states that a child has the right to live with his parents.

If your claim is denied or if the court grants your mother-in-law’s claim regarding the termination of the right to use the apartment by former family members, draw the court’s attention to the provision of clause 4 of Art. 31 of the Housing Code of the Russian Federation. It honestly states that the right to use housing is reserved for a period determined by the court for a former member of the owner’s family in the event that the latter has no grounds for acquiring or exercising the right to use other housing. And also the right to use living space is reserved for “former” family members if they cannot provide themselves with other living quarters due to their property status or other circumstances.

I want to tell you a mystical and slightly scary story that happened to me after the death of my father-in-law. Of course, I remained alive, but I suffered incredible fear.

Let's start with the fact that my husband and I then lived with his parents. They have a big house and they themselves insisted that after the wedding we move in with them. Surprisingly, I quite easily found a common language with my mother-in-law; we had no quarrels or any behind-the-scenes intrigues. Quite the contrary, she told me something from the bottom of her heart when she saw my confusion. But it was unobtrusive and almost imperceptible.

Everything was smooth with my father-in-law, too. Although, exactly the word that can essentially explain his relationship with others. He always came home from work, sat down in his chair and stared at the TV. Minimum communication and total lack of conflict. This is how we lived until that fateful day.

I have a flexible work schedule and very often weekends fall on weekdays. It was the same this time. It was about four or five in the afternoon. I was busy in the kitchen when I heard the gate slam. It was strange because the husband was supposed to come first, but he didn’t return until six. I looked out the window through which the path to the house was visible and made sure that no one was there. Well, I think it seemed.

And then there was a loud knock on the door. I almost screamed in surprise. I don’t know why, but this sound really scared me. I crept to the door and looked out through the curtain. In the entryway, along the entire wall, there are old frames, so you could see the guest. But there was no one outside the door. I was seized with panic.

Meanwhile, the knocking did not stop. For a moment I thought I even heard a grumbling mutter. The invisible stranger seemed to have no intention of leaving. On the contrary, he became more and more persistent. I started crossing myself and muttering any prayers that came to mind, but it didn’t help.

Suddenly the blows stopped, and the snow crunched under the guest. It fell heavily yesterday and lasted for the first half of the day, but due to the warm weather it was now sticky and loose. That's why the sound was very loud. The Invisible Man walked to the far window, where the kitchen was, and knocked on the glass. Having received no answer, he went further and did the same with the window in the hall. After that, he returned to the door and knocked again.

I don’t know what motivated me then and how I even had the strength to take any actions. Out of fear, my head was completely unable to think. Contrary to common sense and all instincts of self-survival, I walked up to the door and finally opened it. A strong wind hit my body, as if someone was running past. I looked outside and began to shake even more. There were no tracks in the snow or on the porch.

Returning to the house, I heard a loud sigh in the hall. This was the last straw. She grabbed her jacket and rushed out of the house, forgetting even her keys and phone. As soon as she ran out into the street, her mother-in-law came towards her, sad and tearful.

“Marina,” she says, “and Sasha (her husband) was crushed by a pile at work.”

And cry. I stand there, confused, and console her. Finally, she noticed that I was half naked in the cold. He asks what happened. I have nothing to do, she said. The mother-in-law didn’t seem to really believe it, she said that she was going into the house herself now. She returns about three minutes later, pale. He says there really is. I came in, and in the hall Sasha’s chair was squashed, as if someone invisible was sitting.

We lived with our in-laws until the funeral, and then returned to the house. Thank God, no one was there anymore. The neighbor grandmothers said that it was Sasha. Didn't notice that he died. That he has lost his bodily shell. And as if nothing had happened, he came home. My mother-in-law is also inclined towards this version.

One way or another, after that terrible story that happened to me, I began to treat the other world more thoughtfully than before. It's no laughing matter when this happens.

Inexplicable and mystical stories told by eyewitnesses
“Don’t let her be afraid of me, I won’t harm her.”
A family of five lived in an ordinary panel “three-ruble ruble”: a mother, a father, two sisters (18 and 12 years old) and a 16-year-old brother (my future husband). In 2000, a tragedy occurred in this apartment: the father killed the mother and hid the body in the closet. How and for what – no one still knows. The body was discovered by my future husband, who, coming home from school, reached into the closet for sneakers. The father was sent to prison for 15 years, where he subsequently died. I won’t describe the life of children who remained useless to anyone (their closest relatives abandoned the burden) - it’s hard, and that’s not the point...
When I got married, I met my husband’s younger sister, who once said in a conversation that her mother was a believer during her lifetime, that even after death she never left them, that she was always there. I didn’t pay attention to these words then. My husband went on business trips in those years. It turns out that on his next trip I am left alone in this apartment for the first time. “Nothing,” I think, “we’ll survive somehow!” Fortunately, there is a connection, and my husband’s sister lives in the next house.
And so, on the fourth night of my loneliness, I wake up from a strange sensation of someone’s presence in the room. It feels like you're being watched. You feel the gaze, but no one is visible. And it was scary to move. The only thing that came to mind then was the phrase: “Lord, help me!” This is what I repeated in my mind, closing my eyes until it hurt. Then I felt as if a light breeze was blowing overhead. And immediately I felt so calm and sleepy that I turned over on my side and instantly fell asleep.
In the morning, my husband calls and says that today he dreamed of his deceased mother. It’s as if they are traveling on a bus, and she tells him: “I saw your girl today. Good, loves you. I stroked her head. Let her not be afraid of me, I will not harm her. Well, son, I need to get out, but you continue on. This is not your stop."
As soon as I heard it, I just fell into a precipitate! It turns out that it was my late mother-in-law who came to meet me at night. In response to her husband’s story, she told her night story. He said that before with his sisters he constantly heard light footsteps around the apartment at night and the creaking of cabinets in the kitchen. Only no one was afraid, they knew that this was a mother who, even after death, did not abandon her children!
After this story, my husband and I lived in that apartment for another four years. And sometimes at night I also heard light footsteps along the corridor, felt the breeze near our bed. And every time after that, the husband smiled in his sleep. And I calmly fell asleep, knowing that we were being protected by a person who had become family and friends to me, whom I had never known.

Mysterious road to a distant village
Now, I remembered the story. This was a long time ago, when my boys were little. The eldest was five years old, the youngest a little over three. But I was young, and my mother was quite headless. We lived in Estonia. It was winter. And I felt the urge to go and visit my friends on the farm for the weekend. And half an hour later, I, having dressed the boys and whistled the dog, rushed by bus to the station to catch the last train to the city of Tartu. Then from there by suburban “diesel” to a small station. And from there we had to walk another 12 kilometers. There is always a lot of snow there, but the cold is not particularly felt.
We arrived at the station in the evening. The weather is clear, no wind, beautiful! It never occurred to me that something bad could happen. I knew the road there like the palm of my hand; the previous year I had been polishing it endlessly in both directions. They clean the road with a grader, and everything is always in order. It is impossible to get lost, there is only one road. Two hours of fast travel - and I’m already where I’m supposed to be.
With these thoughts, chatting with the boys about everything in the world, we got off the commuter train, headed outside the village and walked along the road to the farm. There I fitted the team to the harness, attached the sled (we had such cool plastic sleds back then!), sat the boys down, put on the little skis - and off we went. It's cold, it's dark, the moon is up. It’s beautiful, the boys are delighted, so am I. Adventure!
About an hour later, a light appeared in the distance. And he shouldn't be there. I'm perplexed, but let's move on. The road goes around a strange field. I can’t remember what kind of field it was, I always walked between the hills and the forest. Go ahead. I can definitely see that there is some kind of housing behind the field. Several windows glow, smoke from the chimney silvers in the moonlight. And silence. I’m stunned, because there is no other housing on this road except our farm. Then, finally, I understand that I haven’t seen the pasture fences that line the road for a long time either. The frost is getting stronger.
I stood there and thought. Maybe I should turn back now... For some reason, this thought made me very afraid. And a complete feeling of the unreality of what was happening appeared. Well, there can't be any housing on this road! Let's run further.
And then the wolves howled. And I know for sure that there are no wolves here! Damn, I hunted and poached myself, I know all the animals inside out. No one has seen wolves here for 30 years! However, they howl. A lot, a whole flock. But at the same time, my dog ​​does not panic, he runs briskly, although his ears stand straight up. Let's run forward. I encourage the boys so that they are not afraid, I amuse them as much as I can.
And suddenly, around the bend, she braked with a running start from surprise. I see: a huge church on the left side of the road. Dilapidated. Nearby is a cemetery. Well, that can't happen here! We came closer and stopped... The boys also stared: “Oh, what is this?” Not just a big church, but a huge temple. Lancet windows, like in Gothic cathedrals, but without glass. However, there is a roof on the main building. Intricate stone frames, the moon glitters on the remains of glass, in former stained glass windows.
And the tower, or maybe the bell tower, struck me. I've never seen anything like this. Not Catholic and not Orthodox. Of incomprehensible shape, a very tall structure with a dome on top. The dome is destroyed, only the ribs remain, and through them you can see the starry sky. Huge trees stand behind the temple and some obelisks, leaving no doubt that this is a cemetery. For some reason I was surprised that there was little snow there, a very thin layer, although there was about a meter along the road.
We stand and look at it all. It looks creepy and unusual, although beautiful, you can’t say anything - very beautiful! Especially the tower. All white, with black and gray patterns in moon shadows. The boys got out of the sleds and paddled to the side of the road with the obvious goal of climbing in the ruins. And then my dog ​​howled. She howled, barked, and grabbed the youngest by the overalls.
That’s when I remembered how I woke up. I put both “researchers” into the sled, and we rushed out of there at a vigorous trot. While we were running to the turn, I kept looking back at the ruins - well, very beautiful! Everything is blue, white and black, the moon, the stars, the snow glitters... I will never forget. And the boys remember clearly - the picture seemed to remain before their eyes. Then we turned a corner and everything disappeared.
Let's run further. And I already quite clearly understand that we, apparently, are lost. And where we are now - not the slightest idea. And to turn back... At this thought I felt unwell. Fear is not fear, but a distinct reluctance to go in the opposite direction. We stubbornly fly forward. I carefully look at the surroundings, looking for even the slightest sign of a familiar landscape. For some reason this seemed terribly important. Well, at least some kind of fence, a characteristic tree, a bend in the road... No, everything is foreign!
We stopped to take a break as we were in our third hour of travel. I got sandwiches, a thermos, waffles. We eat, chat about this and that. Suddenly Pashka asks:
“Mom, are we sure we can come back?”
“Ha-ha,” I say, but I’m all at a loss. - No big deal! How, I say, can you get lost when there are such stars in the sky! Look, here is Ursa Major, there is Cassiopeia. Now we will go to that star, and after two turns there will be human habitation. Business!
I’m not at all sure of what I’m saying, but the kids need to be reassured! I'm having as much fun as I can.
And Pashka says:
- Okay, mom, otherwise I’m already starting to be afraid!
- Well, then go ahead!
And after two turns we come to housing! A large village, the windows glow, some sounds appeared. I am stunned, the children are happy, the dog begins to wag its tail vigorously. After 10 minutes we are already knocking on the last house. The owner, who responded to the knock, was literally stunned: where did we come from on his porch almost at midnight? The boys jump, the dog sits on his butt, shoots with his eyes, and controls the situation. In general, they took us all into the house, warmed us, fed us, and started the car to take us where we needed to go.
While we were driving, let’s ask: what is this huge church not far from here? The uncle is perplexed, saying that there is no church here. The nearest church is in Tartu. The boys began to describe to him in two voices: “Huge windows, white walls and a cemetery.” For some reason my uncle became very nervous. They agreed that, they say, anything can happen, maybe it seemed. I didn’t ask any further questions, and so we made an indelible impression.
Safe and sound, in the first hour of the night, we arrived at our destination. Everyone was woken up. Of course, they gave me the first number for such a forced march, but they quickly calmed down because everything ended well.
Then I asked local residents several times about the huge abandoned church. Nobody has seen. And the boys remember the same thing as me - high windows, a patterned roof and a strange tower with a collapsed dome. I later tried to find the road from which we came to the village. Did not find. And over time there was something incomprehensible. According to my wrist chronometers, a little more than two hours passed, we didn’t even have time to freeze, and almost 6 hours passed from the time the last “diesel” arrived until we appeared on the porch.

Feathers on the grave
I was 10 years old then. It was a day off, my mother baked delicious pies - it was the anniversary of the death of my grandfather, her father. For dinner, in order to remember my grandfather, my mother’s sister and her husband, who lived in the village at that time, were waiting. Towards evening the phone rang and my mother answered the phone. Her sister Lyuba called and said that she would not arrive in the evening, her husband was late at work, and she no longer had time to catch the bus to the city. He says remember without me, the main thing is that I visited my father’s cemetery today, at least tidied up...
It turned out that some vandals had thrown bird feathers on the grave, also in three colors - white, black and red. Mom grabbed the phone, turned pale, and said: “Where are you going with them, those feathers?” To which she received the answer that Lyuba collected the feathers into a bag with her bare hands and threw them into the trash can at the exit from the cemetery. After the telephone conversation, my mother sat down on a stool in the kitchen and whispered: “There will be trouble, oh, stupid Lyubka.” She rushed into the room, put a candle in front of the home icon, and began to read prayers.
And literally the next day, late in the evening, Lyuba was taken away in an ambulance for a very complex operation to remove the female appendages; the inflammation, complicated by extensive peritonitis, was barely saved. The doctors kept asking whether she really didn’t feel her condition worsening, because she must have felt sharp pain, increased blood pressure and temperature for at least several days. But until the last few hours, Lyuba did not feel any discomfort, although the doctors claimed that the case was extremely advanced and such inflammation could not develop in a few hours.

Source – “Scary Stories” (4stor.ru)

Content

Even inveterate materialists want to know what happens after death to a close relative, how the soul of the deceased says goodbye to relatives and whether the living should help it. All religions have beliefs associated with burial; funerals can be held according to different traditions, but the essence remains common - respect, veneration and care for the otherworldly path of a person. Many people wonder if our deceased relatives can see us. There is no answer in science, but folk beliefs and traditions are replete with advice.

Where is the soul after death

For centuries, humanity has been trying to understand what happens after death, whether it is possible to contact the afterlife. Different traditions give different answers to the question of whether the soul of a deceased person sees his loved ones. Some religions talk about heaven, purgatory and hell, but medieval views, according to modern psychics and religious scholars, do not correspond to reality. There is no fire, cauldrons or devils - only ordeal, if loved ones refuse to remember the deceased with a kind word, and if loved ones remember the deceased, they are in peace.

How many days after death is the soul at home?

Relatives of deceased loved ones wonder whether the soul of the deceased can come home, where it is after the funeral. It is believed that during the first seven to nine days the deceased comes to say goodbye to home, family, and earthly existence. The souls of deceased relatives come to a place that they consider truly theirs - even if an accident occurred, the death was far from their home.

What happens after 9 days

If we take the Christian tradition, then souls remain in this world until the ninth day. Prayers help to leave the earth easily, painlessly, and not get lost along the way. The feeling of the presence of the soul is especially felt during these nine days, after which the deceased is remembered, blessing him for the final forty-day journey to Heaven. Grief pushes loved ones to figure out how to communicate with a deceased relative, but during this period it is better not to interfere so that the spirit does not feel confused.

After 40 days

After this period, the spirit finally leaves the body, never to return - the flesh remains in the cemetery, and the spiritual component is cleansed. It is believed that on the 40th day the soul says goodbye to loved ones, but does not forget about them - heavenly stay does not prevent the deceased from monitoring what is happening in the lives of relatives and friends on earth. The fortieth day marks the second commemoration, which can already occur with a visit to the grave of the deceased. You should not come to the cemetery too often - it disturbs the buried person.

What does the soul see after death?

The near-death experience of many people provides a comprehensive, detailed description of what awaits each of us at the end of the journey. Although scientists question the evidence of survivors of clinical death, drawing conclusions about brain hypoxia, hallucinations, and the release of hormones - the impressions are too similar in completely different people, dissimilar either in religion or cultural background (beliefs, customs, traditions). There are frequent references to the following phenomena:

1. Bright light, tunnel.
2. Feeling of warmth, comfort, safety.
3. Reluctance to return.
4. Meetings with relatives located far away - for example, from the hospital they “looked” into a house or apartment.
5. One’s own body and doctors’ manipulations are seen from the outside.

When one wonders how the soul of the deceased says goodbye to relatives, one must keep in mind the degree of closeness. If the love between the deceased and the remaining mortals in the world was great, then even after the end of life’s journey the connection will remain, the deceased can become a guardian angel for the living. Hostility softens after the end of the worldly path, but only if you pray and ask for forgiveness from the one who is gone forever.

How the dead say goodbye to us

After death, loved ones do not stop loving us. During the first days they are very close by, they can appear in dreams, talk, give advice - parents especially often come to their children. The answer to the question of whether deceased relatives hear us is always affirmative - a special connection can last for many years. The deceased say goodbye to the earth, but do not say goodbye to their loved ones, because they continue to watch them from another world. The living should not forget about their relatives, remember them every year, and pray that they will be comfortable in the next world.

How to talk to the dead

The deceased should not be disturbed without reason. Their existence is strikingly different from all earthly ideas about eternity. Every attempt to communicate is anxiety and worry for the deceased. As a rule, the deceased themselves know when their loved ones need help; they can appear in a dream or send some kind of hint. If you want to talk to a relative, pray for him and ask the question in your mind. Understanding how the soul of a deceased person says goodbye to his family brings relief to those left on earth.